Reflections

"Driving here is interesting, stop, start, swerve, slow, wait..yikes! The little boys who came up to the car at one stop were putting their heads on my window, giggling at me when I would wiggle my eyebrows.When they laugh, their eyes sparkle and give they a sly smile when you say hello to them in their language. The Holy Spirit is so present here. I've never had to trust God so much before, and guess what? I've never felt so much peace......."~from one of my very few journal entries in Africa.

I know I already posted some about Africa, but it is so heavy on my heart right now. I want to go back, but then, I realize that I don't have to go thousands of miles away to serve Jesus. Literally, I can sit where I am right now, and be the same kind of light I was while blowing bubbles and jump roping with the kids there. I don't think my siblings are saved, why can't I realize that they are just in need of Christ as any other 8,9, or 10 year around the world? I prayed and asked God for a especially servant's minded heart while I was there, to let the little things slip and be patient, kind, loving and gentle. And I really think he answered my prayers. But the thing is, I don't think I've whole-heartedly prayed for those things since. Isn't that awful? I have been so convicted of this. I am a light, and I reflect my savior. Sure, I'm a rusty, fogged up mirror, but he is gradually polishing me up to reflect him better. Does that mean I can be comfortable with snapping at my friends, siblings ect. for minor things that bother me, but aren't necessarily wrong, or correcting someone when they do sin out of anger? Christ corrects in love, and I should too. Maybe this means I should think a whole lot more before I open my big mouth. I know I struggle with this to, like being to loud, or trying to be funny.....My thoughts even, not setting my mind on Christ like things, and that comes out in the way I act. So thinking before I think would even be a good idea. (It does make sense, sort of, if you think about it) Ugh, I am so sinful. Can you believe God would ever love some as rotten as man? He sent his only son to die for us! How incredible is that? He loves me. HE loves me.... way down here on planet earth, a small little teeny, tiny, itty, bitty thing, and gave his life. He was carpenter. He got splinters and stubbed his toe, he got cold at night. He had foods that were is favorite and not so much, but he never complained, he never gave up. He, Jesus, the creator of the universe, left his heavenly, unimaginably beautiful home, and came to earth, not as a king as so many expected, but as a commoner. And because he didn't come and defeat the Romans and sit on a pathetic earthly throne like so many other men have done, he did something far greater. He gave us a far more magnificent gift, not one of fleeting trends or passing worldly things but of love.  He forgave us.  He wrapped us in his righteousness and now before the Father we are seen as spotless. How amazing is that? I love Him so much and I am so extremely thankful for his forgiveness and grace. Thank you Lord for saving me! Thank you for loving me. Please shine through me as the broken vessel I am and let your light be so bright that people instantly know it's YOU.
~Bugg

Well, get ready to read...

Well, I was going to do a long post about what I have been up to lately, (not much, I assure you) but, I decided to spare you the boredom. Instead, I am just going to say that I am thoroughly enjoying watching Monsters Inc. with my siblings right now. (This is one of the scary movies we watch at our house. We had to fast forward the whole beginning...) And on a random note, I was very surprised to learn how many people I know actually read my blog. The Akbar video for example, some people would be like, " I saw that video your blog..." (with various mixed facial expressions)  then I would be like, "Oh yeah! Funny, huh? Wait... you read my blog?" (cough, cough, sheepish smile...) And on another random note, I finished the book, 'Scottish Chiefs' by Jane Porter, and then watched 'Braveheart'. Totally loved it! As always, the book was better, and William Wallace, well, he's awesome! Then, I started the 'Mark of the Lion' series by Francine Rivers and I CAN'T PUT IT DOWN!!! I finished the 1st book in like 2 days and I am almost done with the 2nd. I'll have to save the 3rd for the plane ride to Ethiopia..... It is a captivating series and totally grips and moves the reader. I not only like to read historical fiction, but I like writing it too, so it's fun to read and grab little tips from here and there. I guess I am kinda rambling on now, so I will stop. I think I might snatch some of the popcorn my brother just popped and watch American Idol...
BTW This will probably be the last blog post until I get back from Ethiopia! I am so excited, and AFRAID. But the good thing is, the more I am afraid, the more I can trust in Jesus, with my personal needs, spiritual needs, and any other nasty fear that decides to latch onto my brain. If you would please pray for our team while we are gone, it would be so awesome. God truly does listen to us, and knows what we need, even before we ask. Please pray for our hearts, to be prepared to not follow our own agendas, but look to others needs before our own, and that we can be shining lights to the people we will be meeting, and that God will open other peoples hearts if we have chances to share the gospel. Also for the language barrier, my cousin Ja Ja encouraged me about that the other night. She reminded me that even when we don't speak the same language, Christ's love can still bleed through our every action and motive. And also for personal health and travel complications. We are going to be fellowshipping with beautiful group of believers, and I am rejoicing that I will have a chance to sing with the nations!
Sorry for rambling, and thanks for reading. (or skimming the page, stopping at the interesting parts.... same difference. smile....)
~Bugg~

Here is a random picture of me that you might find amusing. Yea, there really isn't any suitable caption for that. But if you think of one, comment!

Just a few little things

 THREE QUOTES...

Today my younger siblings were talking about what animals they wanted to be....
Oggie: I would be a walrus..
Erna: Well, then I would be a elephant. No, wait, a polar bear, then I would fight you and eat you.
Oggie: No, cause we would have an underwater battle and I would eat you!
Jbear: Well guess what guys? I would be an Arctic Rhino and eat you both! (Smiles and walks away)
 Oh my. I love my brothers and sisters.  

I am not a blond. Promise. I really do not have blond hair. As my friend  Rye Bread puts it.....

"You are a brunette, with blond moments." That totally describes me. really. I was making a cup of tea the other day, and I put the cup in the in the microwave for 2 minutes, only to realize I forgot the water. jeepers.

And my favorite, from my momma. (I started symphony and didn't have the best first practice)
"This isn't a waste of time. It's just a new use of time."  Oh, thank you. I think moms just have that encouraging thing inside them, and know just what to say at the right time. (Okay, not all the time but most)

TWO PICTURES....

Sometimes, as a  follower of Christ, big sister, daughter, friend, role model, student, writer, musician, cook, bathroom cleaner, ect, ect, I forget about Jesus. "WHAT?!" You might say. Or "How?" But I can get so caught up in the world (looking pretty, being at a high standard in others eyes, stuff.....you get the jist of it...) I lose sight of what matters most. I am a daughter of the Most High King. He is my father. He sent his Son to die for me, and pull me out of the ocean that I was drowning in. He fills me with the Spirit and makes me new and fresh. I don't need to find my worth in the eyes of others, if they hated Jesus, why should I have the slightest inclination that they would love me? This is just an old hotel, and I am a visitor who will be checking out soon. But that also doesn't mean that while I'm here I can't shine like a blazing fire, waiting in anticipation for the day I will be with Christ. I can share His love with others in this world, and proclaim His name to all the ends of the earth.

Whenever I look at the stars, I feel this engulfing sense of awe towards my God. The God who created this, created me. And not only that, he loves me. God paints the sky with beautiful colors and the entire universe is his canvas. And it makes me super excited, because if there is something this beautiful in the sky right now, can you imagine how many billion times better heaven will be?!


AND ONE VIDEO...(or two)

This is weird, and entertaining at the same time. But because I live in a state with LOTS of corn I found it amusing, and you might too....maybe..

And if you really really want to waste your time right now, Here is one more. But Beware. It is a waste of time. And it will be stuck in your heads. And if your siblings watch it, they will not stop singing it. (I know from experience. Not funny.) So just watch it once.

~Bugg~

Oh my Stars!

Who thinks God is amazing! ME!!! My younger siblings have been studying astronomy and I have been able to listen in once in awhile. A couple startling facts slammed into my brain and put a whole new sense of WHOA! into Christmas for me. Did you know... If the sun was the size of a basketball, the earth is the size of a peppercorn? Okay. So if the sun is about a thousand times bigger than the earth, and the sun is still just a star in the universe, and the universe is like a kajillion-billion-trillion-million light years long. (Don't laugh, I'm obviously not scientifically or mathematically minded) And God created the universe, that makes us really really small. And I for one, didn't really realize how truly small I really am. (I still don't) But just think. The creator of all that hugeness, came down to earth. (really really small!!!!) And I mean didn't just become the size of the universe, not just the size of the galaxy, not just the size of the sun, not just the size of the earth but the size of MAN. I can't even begin to wrap my mind around the amazing things God can do. And then think, He didn't come here to be a ruler arrayed in splendor and glory with gold and silver and all that jazzy stuff. He was born in a stable, the son of a carpenter, to grow up and be persecuted and eventually killed. WHAT?!?! He did that for me? He loves me that much? I sin against him everyday, and disobey, and lie, and cheat, and think awful things and HE STILL LOVES ME?! I am in shock. I love my brothers and sisters or friends or mom and dad, but if they do something 'wrong' to me, I want to hurt them, or do bad things to them! But, We have been doing that to Jesus ever since the fall, and this was his plan all along. Why? Oh, Jesus! Why can't I have your selfless attitude,your servants heart, and your willingness to die to self daily? You drank the cup given to you, please make me more like yourself! I don't want to be ashamed of the gospel, not sharing what you did for me, just so I don't feel embarrassed. Please help me to remember how big you are, and how small I am. I can't wait to come and see you someday. Please help me to share your name throughout the nations! Amen.
~Bugg 

 Yep, That's the sun!!

This is called the sombrero galaxy. IT IS HUGE. And very beautiful.

A supernova called the Crab Nebula....

This is the photo of the day on NASA.gov. 

And here we are, teeny tiny us.....

Standing in Awe

I am forever in awe of my Savior. He is so big, vast, and loving, but yet I tend to forget about his wrath. I asked him this morning to show me something in his word. Nothing specific, just something that I could meditate on, that would give me yet another perspective of his pure amazingness. Well, believe it or not, He answered my prayer to the fullest. My bible fell open to Lamentations 3. I read it, and I realized how much I need this reminder. His wrath is indescribable, I can't think of a word to even describe it. But, His love for his children is so endless and powerful, I can't think of a word for that either! Even when God is giving you hardship,grief, and bitterness, have hope! His love for you is endless, he causes pain, but he will have compassion! I want to laugh and cry at the same time, because He is showing me how powerful his wrath is and how gentle his LOVE is! Isn't he wonderful? One thing I love about God is how confusing he is. I know it sounds weird, but think about it. If we had a God we could understand, one that we could comprehend how big his wrath and love is, one we could figure out without our brains wanting to fall out, it would make him that much less awesome! I am glad there are things about him that I don't know, that I can trust him with my life, because he has a perfect plan, and because he loves me.

I am the man who has seen affliction

under the rod of his wrath;

2 he has driven and brought me

into darkness without any light;

3 surely against me he turns his hand

again and again the whole day long.

4 He has made my flesh and my skin waste away;

he has broken my bones;

5 he has besieged and enveloped me

with bitterness and tribulation;

6 he has made me dwell in darkness

like the dead of long ago.

7 He has walled me about so that I cannot escape;

he has made my chains heavy;

8 though I call and cry for help,

he shuts out my prayer;

9 he has blocked my ways with blocks of stones;

he has made my paths crooked.

10 He is a bear lying in wait for me,

a lion in hiding;

11 he turned aside my steps and tore me to pieces;

he has made me desolate;

12 he bent his bow yand set me

as a target for his arrow.

13 He drove into my kidneys

the arrows of his quiver;

14 I have become the laughingstock of all peoples,

the object of their taunts all day long.

15 He has filled me with bitterness;

he has sated me with wormwood.

16 He has made my teeth grind on gravel,

and made me cower in ashes;

17 my soul is bereft of peace;

I have forgotten what happiness is;

18 so I say, “My endurance has perished;

so has my hope from the Lord.”

19 Remember my affliction and my wanderings,

the wormwood and the gall!

20 My soul continually remembers it

and is bowed down within me.

21 But this I call to mind,

and therefore I have hope:

22 The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;

his mercies never come to an end;

23 they are new every morning;

great is your faithfulness.

24 “The Lord is my portion,” says my soul,

“therefore I will hope in him.”

25 The Lord is good to those who wait for him,

to the soul who seeks him.

26 It is good that one should wait quietly

for the salvation of the Lord.

27 It is good for a man that he bear

the yoke in his youth.

28 Let him sit alone in silence

when it is laid on him;

29 let him put his mouth in the dust—

there may yet be hope;

30 let him give his cheek to the one who strikes,

and let him be filled with insults.

31 For the Lord will not

cast off forever,

32 but, though he cause grief, he will have compassion

according to the abundance of his steadfast love;

33 for he does not afflict from his heart

or grieve the children of men.

34 To crush underfoot

all the prisoners of the earth,

35 to deny a man justice

in the presence of the Most High,

36 to subvert a man in his lawsuit,

the Lord does not approve.

37 Who has spoken and it came to pass,

unless the Lord has commanded it?

38 Is it not from the mouth of the Most High

that good and bad come?

Ahhh...... this verse is so comforting to me.  I love my Savior! And I am also in awe of the wonderful things he has created. Here are some that are my personal favs....

Stars, Music, Shoes, Flowers, oceans, animals, laughter, weeping,

And my brothers and sisters. I love sitting on the couch and watching Winnie the Pooh with them, playing outside with them, cooking for them, watching them grow up, and a whole lot of other things.... Thank God for family. I praise him that we could adopt Dash and Bear, and give them a family with siblings to do those special family things with. I thank him for adoption, and for all the people who have opened up their hearts to God and to the orphaned and widowed. And I am thankful to my heavenly father for adopting me and letting me join the body of Christ!

~Bugg~

PS.... That video is amazing and HE IS MY KING!