He IS faithful

God is faithful. And for that I am so grateful.
In my sin I deserve everything opposite of what I have now. I don't deserve salvation and forgiveness.
But He has given it to me.
I don't deserve the grace He sustains me with throughout the day.
Yet He still lavishes it upon me.
I don't deserve the loving and gentle way He disciplines and corrects me.
But He still shows it to me.
And still I turn. Still I doubt God's faithfulness and presence in the mundane things of everyday life. When things don't go my way, schedules don't align, family members don't cooperate, school takes too long, food doesn't cook properly, the music you practice still doesn't sound quite right, no matter how hard I try I can't seem to not lash out in anger when such and such happens, pride that continually hangs on....I could go on and on with seemingly small things that I let control the day because they are things "I can handle myself." I don't need to stop and pray because it's not "big enough" to ask God for.
Suddenly, those little things build up. That sneaking thought of pride grows larger. That angry reply becomes more common. As the problem grows even more evident it begins to seem like a big issue and I realize that it's made up of those little moments that I chose to do my own thing instead of relying on God. It's a lack of trust that God is faithful to provide help.
I am praying that God would help me with this. I so need to remember His salvation, forgiveness and faithfulness. In the routine of my life to the unexpected trials, I am praying that I would be mindful of the loving God who so mercifully saved me.

I cry aloud to God,
        aloud to God, and he will hear me.
    In the day of my trouble I seek the Lord;
        in the night my hand is stretched out without wearying;
        my soul refuses to be comforted.
    When I remember God, I moan;
        when I meditate, my spirit faints. Selah
    You hold my eyelids open;
        I am so troubled that I cannot speak.
    I consider the days of old,
        the years long ago.
    I said, “Let me remember my song in the night;
        let me meditate in my heart.”
        Then my spirit made a diligent search:
    “Will the Lord spurn forever,
        and never again be favorable?
    Has his steadfast love forever ceased?
        Are his promises at an end for all time?
    Has God forgotten to be gracious?
        Has he in anger shut up his compassion?” Selah
    Then I said, “I will appeal to this,
        to the years of the right hand of the Most High.”
    I will remember the deeds of the LORD;
        yes, I will remember your wonders of old.
    I will ponder all your work,
        and meditate on your mighty deeds.
    Your way, O God, is holy.
        What god is great like our God?
    You are the God who works wonders;
        you have made known your might among the peoples.
    You with your arm redeemed your people,
        the children of Jacob and Joseph. Selah
    When the waters saw you, O God,
        when the waters saw you, they were afraid;
        indeed, the deep trembled.
    The clouds poured out water;
        the skies gave forth thunder;
        your arrows flashed on every side.
    The crash of your thunder was in the whirlwind;
        your lightnings lighted up the world;
        the earth trembled and shook.
    Your way was through the sea,
        your path through the great waters;
        yet your footprints were unseen.
    You led your people like a flock
        by the hand of Moses and Aaron.
(Psalm 77 ESV)

~Bugg