Just being real.

A blank page is so overwhelming when you have so many thoughts to put down. So you can disregard the first few sentences of this post as they are to simply fill up the space a bit so that I can actually put some real thoughts down.
Not that any of it will make sense. I will never make that claim.
Life is busy. I remember mentioning that in my last post. But having a busy life shouldn't mean pushing out the important things to make room for less important ones. Going places, participating in activities, volunteering, working, being a relational person, none of  those things are bad necessarily.
But the more time we spend in the world should mean that much more time we spend meditating and spending time with God.
And let me be honest; I'm writing this because I DON'T do it. I'm not saying this is something that I am so good at and you should be better. NO. I am seeing this as a gap in my life.  The more time I am spending in the world, the less it seems I have time to focus on my Savior.
How sad.
And if I do have spare time, what am I doing with it? Netflix? Cooking? Pinterest? Reading? Sleeping? Eating?
How often I wish for God to be closer, only to realize that I need to actively pursue Him. We frequently ask where God is, but we really need to ask ourselves where we are.
He has told us to seek. He promises to be found. He has made Himself available to a dirty, sinful, impure, lazy, wandering, lost, distracted, busy people. He has redeemed us.
We didn't deserve it. We still don't deserve it. We will never deserve it.
But the grace doesn't stop there.
He offers salvation and doesn't leave us hanging. Leaving us to figure things out on our own would be completely justifiable, but God doesn't do that. He sends us Help. He fills us with His own Spirit and offers us refuge in Him.
WHY WHY WHY?
I don't think I will ever ever understand. Ever.
And yet I still somehow think that Netflix, Facebook, Twitter etc will give my soul more relief than a Living God?
Why are we so easily entangled and pulled away from our Savior? Maybe it's because we aren't actively fighting to know Him better every second. I know I am lacking there.
And again, He has promised to be found.
Just in case you've forgotten, God has never broken a promise.
What makes it even crazier is that we can't even desire to pursue God deeper without His prompting us to.
We are utterly dependent on God. 
~Bugg