Summer is here...

Ah.. Sorry for the lack of blog posts in the last month. (Has it been that long?) I haven't much time to post, but I thought I say hello, and tell you all I am still alive. Summer is here, and the weather is wonderful. (hot, yes, but wonderful all the same.) I spent a bit of time with a couple of my really good friends at a lake and we had a blast!! Not to mention, some totally AWEsome photo shoots...

Well, I've got little siblings to read books to and play dolls with...so, posting will have to wait until further notice! Hope your summer is going well!
~Bugg

Reflections

"Driving here is interesting, stop, start, swerve, slow, wait..yikes! The little boys who came up to the car at one stop were putting their heads on my window, giggling at me when I would wiggle my eyebrows.When they laugh, their eyes sparkle and give they a sly smile when you say hello to them in their language. The Holy Spirit is so present here. I've never had to trust God so much before, and guess what? I've never felt so much peace......."~from one of my very few journal entries in Africa.

I know I already posted some about Africa, but it is so heavy on my heart right now. I want to go back, but then, I realize that I don't have to go thousands of miles away to serve Jesus. Literally, I can sit where I am right now, and be the same kind of light I was while blowing bubbles and jump roping with the kids there. I don't think my siblings are saved, why can't I realize that they are just in need of Christ as any other 8,9, or 10 year around the world? I prayed and asked God for a especially servant's minded heart while I was there, to let the little things slip and be patient, kind, loving and gentle. And I really think he answered my prayers. But the thing is, I don't think I've whole-heartedly prayed for those things since. Isn't that awful? I have been so convicted of this. I am a light, and I reflect my savior. Sure, I'm a rusty, fogged up mirror, but he is gradually polishing me up to reflect him better. Does that mean I can be comfortable with snapping at my friends, siblings ect. for minor things that bother me, but aren't necessarily wrong, or correcting someone when they do sin out of anger? Christ corrects in love, and I should too. Maybe this means I should think a whole lot more before I open my big mouth. I know I struggle with this to, like being to loud, or trying to be funny.....My thoughts even, not setting my mind on Christ like things, and that comes out in the way I act. So thinking before I think would even be a good idea. (It does make sense, sort of, if you think about it) Ugh, I am so sinful. Can you believe God would ever love some as rotten as man? He sent his only son to die for us! How incredible is that? He loves me. HE loves me.... way down here on planet earth, a small little teeny, tiny, itty, bitty thing, and gave his life. He was carpenter. He got splinters and stubbed his toe, he got cold at night. He had foods that were is favorite and not so much, but he never complained, he never gave up. He, Jesus, the creator of the universe, left his heavenly, unimaginably beautiful home, and came to earth, not as a king as so many expected, but as a commoner. And because he didn't come and defeat the Romans and sit on a pathetic earthly throne like so many other men have done, he did something far greater. He gave us a far more magnificent gift, not one of fleeting trends or passing worldly things but of love.  He forgave us.  He wrapped us in his righteousness and now before the Father we are seen as spotless. How amazing is that? I love Him so much and I am so extremely thankful for his forgiveness and grace. Thank you Lord for saving me! Thank you for loving me. Please shine through me as the broken vessel I am and let your light be so bright that people instantly know it's YOU.
~Bugg

1 John 4:18-19

~"There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out all fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love. We love because he first loved us."~ {1 John 4:18-19}
~Bugg

Wanderings

Africa. My mind has been wandering to Africa. I'll smell something and a vivid memory floods back, feel the sun, close my eyes, and I could almost return. One particular image remains impressed on my mind though, and I hope it stays forever ......Every time you stepped onto the hard ground, puffs of  red, thick dust would envelope your feet. The breeze hung in the air, and the heat was sweltering. A sweet little boy grabbed my hand and gave me a heart melting smile. The little girl I was holding took out my ponytail and started running her dirty, skinny fingers through my hair. Another girl looked at me longingly as she held up some string and beads, wanting me to bead with her. "Oh Lord," I thought to myself, "You have blessed me so much, giving me the opportunity to be with these precious children of yours, and serve in this way." Suddenly a strange horn sound rung through the city. The islamic call to prayer. I turned my head towards the blue sky and saw the large, black vultures swarming through the air. The sun beat fiercely and the horn buzzed through your every thoughts. "But," I I thought to myself, "Even though this is a country cornered by islam, God is at work here! He is so very present. Thank you Jesus for this time we are here and Lord, please grant salvation to the beautiful children I am so very blessed to be with today." I let breath slowly escape my mouth and bent over to help tie somebody's balloon animal. I pulled a little friend onto the swing with me, and some little boys came over and pushed us. The little girl who I was beading with earlier came over and gave the picture she had just finished coloring..... Oh I miss this place. God used (and is still using) this trip to refine me. If I can serve him in Africa, I can serve him in America. I find myself failing in so many ways. As a daughter, a sister, a friend...ect. ect... But God is constantly reminding me that he loves me. I am a daughter of the King. He is refining me, and it hurts. I don't like it, but he knows what is best for me, he holds my future, and I have to trust this. He keeps the universe together, and he sees every sparrow that falls to the ground. I want to serve him. I want to share this love he's given me with others. He is the potter, I am the clay. I want to be a weak, dingy old vessel, so that I can better show off what is inside of me. The treasure, my savior and friend. And someday, in heaven I will be perfected in Him. His perfect love casts out all my fears. I can cast my worries on him and praise him for that! Oh, I love him. And I want to be more like him. He is perfect, and I am not. I sin, I stumble, I fall, ugh. But he forgives, supports and lifts up. And he teaches. He is teaching me through so many things how imperfect I am, how much I have to work on. To make myself look less important and make him my all in all. Thank you Jesus for dying for me, and rising again!! Thank you for clothing me with your righteousness and grace, saving me from an eternity apart from you.
Thanks all for listening to my mind's wanderings......
~Bugg~